Why do men get married
Sent to me by a friend.
Author wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.
According to a recent survey, German men list tax breaks as their primary reason for getting married. Which leaves the rest of us to ask the obvious question!
“Why don’t we get those tax breaks here in the good old South Africa?”
Anyway, for men in SA it’s usually some combination of relationship-oriented motivations that provides the basis for marriage. And since South African men are [apparently] much more romantic than their German counterparts, our motivations for marriage are solidly rooted in love; why, just look at the typical South African male’s highly-romantic reasons for considering marriage:
1. The house needs cleaning. Sure, he can do it himself, but it’s a pretty big job when you only do it once a year (or so). Plus, the house looks so much more romantic when it’s clean.
2. The fridge needs to be refilled. Yes, he can go grocery shopping, but it’s a real hassle for the standard testosterone-laden, attention-deficient male, to look properly detached standing in line at the grocery store — without a beer or a cigarette in his hand to complete the “look” — and generally forgets what he’s doing there by the time he reaches the till. Even though beer is sold there he would be evicted if he cracked one open. Plus, a full fridge is much more romantic than an empty one.
3. The laundry needs to be done. Okay, he can attempt this himself, but there are two significant problems with men doing laundry. Huge doses of testosterone exclude men from wearing pink underwear and buying new underwear every time it would be exorbitant. Properly coloured underwear was more romantic anyway.
4. The “significant other” is pressing for action on the “marriage” front. Pressured by deadlines” Either we are engaged by —— , or I’m gone.” (Otherwise known
as do or die) Faced with the horrifying prospect of a dirty house, an empty fridge, pink underwear, and having to lift his sagging butt from the couch to “get his own damn beer” during the game, he will usually give in and decide to take the plunge. Plus, getting married is much more romantic than wearing pink underwear. (Also, note that most women will conveniently forget about the “ultimatum” within minutes of the proposal.)
See? None of that unromantic “tax break” reasoning here — just solid love and romance. And the romance doesn’t end there — when it comes time to close the deal, you can bet that the innovative Safrican male will devise something original, like hiding the ring somewhere in the house and leaving a trail of notes directing her to the bounty. And he’ll pick an original day on which to do it, too — like Christmas, or Valentine’s Day, or her birthday. (A thinly-veiled way to “combine gifts,” BTW.)
Of course, the girl will graciously fail to mention the gross lack of originality in the presentation — being preoccupied instead with how she’s going to explain to her new fiancee that “he” wants to replace the very-thoughtful-but-not-very-romantic cubic zirconia with a rock large enough to make the Blue Train fall through the first bridge they cross …