Who gave you a license?

Who gave you a license?

woman driver2

I can’t stand other drivers! I couldn’t stand them when I was able to drive, and now that my wife does all the driving, I find that I still can‘t stand them! Don’t people remember anything they learned? I remember my driving lessons well. I also remember a lot of my class mates not doing too well. So I guess it goes without saying that those, now adults, get confused whenever they try to recall things they should have learned. The problem with this is, they’re trying to recall these things while driving!

Take the ‘Two-Second-rule’ for example. Do you remember the two second rule? No, it doesn’t mean forget the driving rules two seconds after you take your driving test! It doesn’t mean two seconds after the light turns green you must be doing sixty miles an hour. Nor does it mean that it’s okay to stop on the freeway on-ramp (if you only stop for two seconds) prior to merging. As you can see the two second rule appears to be a confusing rule for many people.

‘Following distance’ is another term I’ve noticed people having a difficult time understanding. It is not defined as the distance traveled when following someone home from the pub.

Reaction-time is another one of those confusing concepts. For example, some people define it as the time it takes to put down their cell-phone and ‘flip you off’. Others think it’s the time it takes to roll down their window and scream obscenities. Amazingly, some people have become unbelievably astute at performing these three actions, and can do them simultaneously. Still others believe that ‘reaction time’ is the time it takes to recover their dropped cell-phone, which slipped from their hand while trying to put on make-up, drive, eat a breakfast sammie and talk on the phone simultaneously. So, what do they do? They search the floor-board with one hand while steering down the road with the elbow on the other arm, trying not to spill the coffee they are holding. Now can you see why other drivers piss me off?

Another driving element many people (myself included) can’t seem to understand is the signage. Alarmingly, school zones are the same areas where you will commonly see signs that read, ’SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY’! No, it has nothing to do with brain function, nor does it mean that some of these kids can’t even run out of the way! It means…….. aaaaaaagh! What the hell do you care anyway!

Even worse than being confused, some drivers, especially women, lose their minds in shopping mall parking lots . We’ve all seen them creeping along (driving laps around the same lanes of parked cars) circling; looking like vultures waiting for something to die, or we’ve seen them impatiently idling in-place, hell-bent on getting a space close to the door. I submit, if you look closely enough, you will see red furious eyes, and clenched- barred teeth. You’ll also see their white-knuckled death-grip on their steering wheels, and veins popping out of their foreheads, forearms and necks.–

Being able to perform a U-turn, a three-point-turn, as well as being able to parallel park are skills that can certainly come in handy from time to time. Unfortunately, I have come to suspect that many people get confused when they attempt the execution of such maneuvers. A ‘U-turn’ turns into a U-end-up-in-the-ditch turn, a ’three-point-turn’ ends up being a ’three hour display of gear changing ability, and parallel parking looks like someone ran out of petrol (in the middle of the road) and left the car right where it quit!

People who drive like this should have their licenses revoked! Don’t you agree?

 

I hate other drivers!

 

Categories: Guest Posts, Humor, Re-blogs | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

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2 thoughts on “Who gave you a license?

  1. Lol! It does look like they’re trying to recall what was in the driver’s manual while they’re actually in the middle of driving!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Roly I share your sentiments! The worst are the twenty-something aggro little twits we have to share road space with!

    Like

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